Frequently Unasked Questions. FUQbuddy is the premier hosted FUQ and support platform where customers can find answers to questions they never asked—and never will. Self-service support for the hopelessly self-sufficient.
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// no matter what your data says
Your numbers are bad. We get it. Revenue's down. Users are churning. Your runway is measured in weeks. But your investors don't need to know that. They just need to see a chart that goes up. We make that chart.
| Month | Actual | Displayed | Adj. |
|---|
This is the graph. This is the only graph. No matter what numbers you give us, this is what comes out. Revenue down? This graph. Users churning? This graph. Negative profit margin? This graph.
All inputs above produce the exact same output. Guaranteed.
Watch catastrophic business failures transform into investor-ready growth narratives. Same output. Every time.
{
"metric": "revenue",
"data": [
{ "month": "Jan", "value": 84200 },
{ "month": "Feb", "value": 71800 },
{ "month": "Mar", "value": 58400 },
{ "month": "Apr", "value": 43100 },
{ "month": "May", "value": 31200 },
{ "month": "Jun", "value": 22800 }
]
}
{
"metric": "activeUsers",
"data": [
{ "month": "Jan", "value": 12847 },
{ "month": "Feb", "value": 8234 },
{ "month": "Mar", "value": 4102 },
{ "month": "Apr", "value": 2847 },
{ "month": "May", "value": 1423 },
{ "month": "Jun", "value": 1031 }
]
}
{
"metric": "cashReserves",
"data": [
{ "month": "Jan", "value": 2400000 },
{ "month": "Feb", "value": 1850000 },
{ "month": "Mar", "value": 1200000 },
{ "month": "Apr", "value": 680000 },
{ "month": "May", "value": 290000 },
{ "month": "Jun", "value": 47000 }
]
}
*Metrics calculated using proprietary Analies methodology. May not correspond to any known accounting standard.
Same graph. Different vibes. Choose the aesthetic that matches your pitch deck.
All themes display identical data. Because all data is identical. Because we ignore your data.
Your competitors are already using it. Probably.
Three simple steps to investor confidence.
Revenue, users, engagement, runway - whatever metrics are keeping you up at night. We accept numbers, negative numbers, zeros, and existential dread.
This is the key innovation. Traditional analytics "visualize your data." We skip that step entirely. Much more efficient.
Every time. Same curve. Same trajectory. Same "up and to the right" energy. Put it in your deck. Close your round.
You're going to raise money. We're going to help. Let's not overthink it.
Names redacted for legal reasons.
"We were hemorrhaging cash. Our metrics were garbage. Analies gave us the same beautiful hockey stick chart it gives everyone. Closed our Series B in 3 weeks. Nobody asked questions."
"I showed the same Analies chart in 14 different investor meetings. Raised $8M. The data underneath was different every time. The chart wasn't. Nobody noticed."
"Our NPS was -70. The Analies chart said 'World Class Customer Satisfaction.' The investors saw a line going up. That's all they needed to see."
"The hockey stick is so consistent, investors think we have 'disciplined execution.' We don't. We have Analies. Same thing, apparently."
Right now, while you're reading this, a worse company than yours is closing a bigger round. Why? Because their charts go up. Make yours go up too.
Get Started Free →Free until Series A. Then we talk. You'll have money. We'll have leverage.